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Writer's picturePaula Wratten

Abandonment & Rejection

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Abandonment can be one of the most challenging experiences to process. It reaches into our deepest fears, touching on feelings of rejection, loneliness, and self-worth. Whether stemming from physical absence, emotional neglect, or even self-abandonment, understanding and working through abandonment can help heal these wounds and build resilience.


Abandonment can manifest in different ways, each posing its challenges. Physical abandonment occurs when someone is absent from our lives—a parent leaving during childhood, a partner ending a relationship, or a close friend moving away. The loss can lead to a void that’s difficult to fill and can often result in lingering feelings of insecurity. Emotional abandonment, on the other hand, happens when someone is present but disconnected. This form of abandonment can leave one feeling unseen, unloved, and unsupported, even within the context of a relationship. For children, emotional abandonment can be particularly impactful, shaping their future relationships and self-worth.


Another form is self-abandonment, a concept that’s less often talked about but equally powerful. Self-abandonment occurs when we neglect our needs, values, or desires to please others or avoid conflict. Over time, this could lead to a decreased self-perception, causing challenges in setting boundaries and valuing oneself. In trying to avoid external rejection, we may create an internal rift that distances us from our authentic selves.


Facing these emotions requires a journey toward self-acceptance and reconnection. It often begins with recognising that past abandonment experiences don’t define current worth. Therapy, self-reflection, and mindfulness practices can support this by helping individuals identify the root of their fears and develop healthier attachment styles. It’s also important to cultivate strong, supportive relationships that reinforce feelings of belonging and value. When we surround ourselves with people who respect and support us, we gradually learn to trust in relationships again.


Dealing with abandonment also involves learning to value oneself independently. : Strengthening self-worth through personal achievements, creative expression, and inner exploration emphasises that love and acceptance can originate from within. Practicing self-compassion, setting boundaries, and prioritising self-care can slowly mend the self-abandonment patterns that may have developed over time.


Ultimately, healing from abandonment and rejection involves building trust in oneself and others. While the journey may be complex, the result is often a deeper, more resilient relationship with oneself. It is an opportunity to rewrite the narrative of self-worth and reconnect with others in a secure, open, and fulfilling way.

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